Is it haram to take non-Muslims as friends?

by Abdul Malik Mujahid

No. A Muslim is friendly to every one. If dawa is the purpose, then being friendly to everyone is an obligation. A Muslim must care and feel for those whom he is giving dawa to. It is not enough to just stand and give a talk. Rather it requires building relationships to influence others and to genuinely care for those among whom we are living. Prophet Muhammad deeply cared for Makkan Mushriks. Allah's peace and blessings be upon him. He prayed, cried and tried his best to save them from hell-fire. Even his enemies were treated not only with kindness, but, with genuine concern for them. The story of woman who used to throw garbage on the Prophet whenever he went by her house, portrays the picture of a person with deep love for even those who would actively oppose him. One day when the woman became sick, the Prophet not seeing her there became concerned for her and went to visit her1,2. Also, the rights of neighbors as taught to us by the Prophet extend to non Muslims as well. The confusion comes because of the wrong understanding of the words "wali" and "kafir," and the misinterpretation of the ayah:

You who believe, do not enlist kafirs as wali, instead of mumineen (4:144).

The word "wali" is used both in the sense of taking as a friend as well as a protector. The word "friendship" can also be at many different levels and mean different things. It can range from helping someone and treating someone kindly to becoming a "buddy". But in all cases it means a relationship at equal level from both sides. On the other hand "wali" is not usually used in the sense of relationship at an equal level, but, where one has more power than other or acts as a patron. It is in this sense that Allah calls Himself as wali of all believers. And it is in this sense that Muslims are asked not to take their fathers and their brothers as wali if they prefer kufr over Iman:

You who believe, do not take your fathers and your brothers on as wali if they prefer kufr rather than Iman (9:23).

But it does not imply dissolving those relationships. Kufr is an act and not just a label for all non-Muslims. There is a difference between the term "non-Muslim" and "kafir." Kafir is the one who after knowing Islam rejects it. Whereas a non Muslim could be any non-Muslim who has neither studied Islam nor has made a conscious decision of rejecting it as is also evident from the following verse: "Those who disbelieve among the people of the book and among the polytheists… (98:6)." Therefore, Kufr is something that people actively do after knowing the truth. It is they who should neither be taken as protectors nor as friends, but still must be treated justly and in a fitting manner. The Prophet used to keep good relations with non-Muslims, keep their trusts, eat their food and visit them when they were sick.

What is forbidden is the relationship of wilayah with Kafirs (who knowingly reject Islam). But, even in that case there are exceptions. The Prophet sought protection from different leaders of Quraysh when reentering Makkah from the Dawa trip of Taif. He finally received the protection from Mut‘im the chief of Nawfal tribe1,2. Abu Bakr Siddique also returned to Makkah aborting his migration to Habasha when Ibn ad-Dughunnah, a non-Muslim Bedouin chief offered him his protection to stay in Makkah and became his Wali. But when Abu Bakr’s crying while reading Quran outside his home became a dawa attraction, he told Abu Bakr that I did not give you protection to let you change the heart of my people. On that Abu Bakr let him revoke his protection, without compromising his right of dawa.1,2 The Prophet had kind relationship with non Muslims all the time in weakness as well as in strength. Therefore the principle is that hikmah of time and space will determine whose help or protection a Muslim may seek or not seek.

One must be careful, however, in using this provision and it should not be used to justify the unjustifiable. The perspective which I am presenting here deals with individual behavior. It does not deal with international relations of governments which is a relevant but different topic.

wallahu a‘lam bis sawab.

1. Seerat ibne Hisham (Earliest existing source of Seerah).

Further Study:

"The prophet and the people around him" and "The prophet’s message in an alien soil" in Dawa for us and against us — Both are lectures by Khurram Murad available on video from Sound Vision.